PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Separate from primary caregiver with help from familiar adult (consistent adult is at the door with a smile and a high five).
• Express affection for significant adult (“I love you.”).
• Use familiar adults when engaging new adults (Stays close to mom and makes minimal eye contact with new adult).
• Follow directions and rules with minimal support (puts on coat and boots, settles in car seat).
• Ask questions of adults to obtain information (“Why are we doing this?”).
• Follow directions in different environments with minimal support (“Remember we use our whisper voices in the library.”).

YOU CAN

• Establish one-on-one time when child can confide in a trusted adult on a daily basis (bedtime, after dinner, during morning routine).
• Acknowledge and reinforces children’s positive behavior with adults (“You said hello to the mail carrier, that was kind.”).
• Keep all promises. (“Remind me tomorrow and I will try to get out that toy.”).
• Be honest with children (“I don’t know.”, “We can try again another day, it’s time to go.”).
• Play with children, follows their lead (be present, notice their play, ask if you can play, ask what they are doing).
• Teach feeling words and how to handle big emotions (“We get disappointed when we have to wait.”, “You look frustrated, breathe with me.”).
• Interact with less familiar adults in the community (staff at school, church, bank teller).
• Confide in at least one adult (“My tummy hurts because I’m hungry.” “Johanna is bullying me.”).
• Interact with adults respectfully (“please and thank you,” polite interrupting).
• Seek help from adults in the community (familiar adults, police officer, doctor).
• Ask questions and checks with an adult before deviating from rules and routines (“Is it ok if we play a little longer?”).
• Demonstrate understanding of when to bring issues to an adults’ attention (big problems vs. little problems).
• Acknowledge and validates children’s feelings, supports problem-solving strategies (“You seem upset, you wanted to keep playing. It is time for lunch, you may put the toy away and meet me at the table or I can help you, what’s best for you?”).
• Engage in meaningful conversations with children, following their lead (asks open-ended questions, “What will you do with that?”, “Where will that go?”).
• Increase connection activities (greetings such as touch, smile, fun, lap reading, one-on-one time).
• Explain why it is important to be respectful in a variety of settings and contexts (“You’re not allowed to put your feet on Grandma’s couch. Why does she have that rule? Because she is worried that you could make it dirty.”).

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Separate willingly from adults to play with other children.
• Make and maintains a positive relationship with at least one child (develops friendships).
• Initiate or enters play, with more than one child, shows flexibility in roles (cooperative play).
• Participate in simple sequences of pretend play (“It’s time to feed the baby, I will get the bottle, you change her diaper.”).
• Attempt to solve social problems, with assistance (asks for a timer, offers to trade, says “When I’m done YOU CAN have it.”).
• Use mostly words and some gestures to communicate (“Do you want to play with me?”).
• Interact with other children positively (“I want to be the dad, who do you want to be?”).
• Share materials and toys, with assistance (“That is mine.” Adult: “You left it here and Carmen saw it.”). Helps other children and follows suggestions given by another child (“I’ll help you clean up.” “Ok, you do the blocks.”).
• Have positive relationships in different settings (child has friends at school and church).
• Maintain positive relationships with multiple children.
• Show understanding of another child’s feelings and attempts to comfort them (child falls and is crying, another child goes to see if they are ok).
• Attempt to solve problems, seeks adult assistance (“Can we take turns?”).
• Share materials and toys with other children.
• Initiate more complex cooperative play, with three or more children, for extended periods of time.
• Play games with rules, with assistance (adult teaches a simple board game and then
  children play).
• Play different roles and makes plans with children (leader, follower, dad, baby).
• Complete projects with other children (children make a fort with sheets. The fort changes often.).
• Use multiple strategies to solve problems (attempts to communicate and then seeks assistance).
• Demonstrate understanding of others’ intentions or motives (“You wanted my toy because yours broke.”).

YOU CAN

• Engage in conversations with child so he/she can practice listening and talking.
• Provide opportunities for children to engage in a variety of cooperative play activities (dramatic play, art projects, free play outside, dance class).
• Help child join other children in ongoing play (give them the words to ask, “Can I play with you?”, “Can I have a turn to be the dog?”).
• Teach vocabulary using objects, pictures and labels things around the house; using these words throughout the day).
• Support children’s play by staying nearby, offering toys, and assisting with problem solving.
• Help nonverbal children to communicate (sign language, objects, photos, and visual supports).
• Read and tell stories or invent puppet plays in which characters share, take turns, and cooperate (Sometimes I’m Bombaloo, and When Sophie Gets Angry).
• Positively notice when children play well (“You waited for Taku to put his piece on the table. That was kind.”).
• Give suggestions to children for solving problems (“get a timer to wait for a turn,” sign-up list, play something else).
• Give children time to solve own problems before intervening.
• Provide opportunities for children to play in small groups in which each child has a specific role and responsibility.
• Encourage children to rely on and help each other (helps zip coats or tie shoes).
• Provide opportunities for child to be part of group activities (group sports, cultural and family events).
• Actively address bullying behavior or child’s attempt to exclude others (reinforce your rules and values, “We are kind, we are helpful.”).
• Ask families to share cultural food, clothing, dance, song and art.
• Participate with children in activities to help others (helps at a community garden, draws pictures for people in a nursing home, thanks your school or church staff).
• Promote acceptance and respect for differences in others (Reads books that highlight differences positively, provides materials and activities that highlight uniqueness of children.).
• Read books about children and families from a variety of cultures and unique places.
• Guide children through problem solving by modeling appropriate responses (“I don’t like it when you take my spot, please ask me if YOU CAN sit there.”).
• Talk with children about how he/she handled a challenging situation.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Show empathy for physically hurt or emotionally upset child.
• Describe other children’s positive, thoughtful, kind behaviors.
• Demonstrate understanding of the consequences of own actions on others. (“I gave him the block and he is playing with it now.”).
• Ask “why” questions about behavior he/she sees.
• Take turns and share with peers, with assistance. Practice empathetic, caring behavior so others respond positively.
• Describe how own actions make others feel and behave.
• Explain his/her response to others’ actions and feelings (“I gave him a hug because he was sad.”).
• Cooperate with peers to complete a project with little conflict.
• Guess how own and others’ behavior will influence responses.

YOU CAN

• Engage child in pretend play so that he/she can practice taking another’s role or perspective.
• Discuss the results of behavior, (when Auntie is happy, she smiles).
• Create ‘if-then’ scenarios, (If I pick up my toys, then we will go for a walk.).
• Show empathy and understanding when children are involved in a conflict.
• Help child to predict what may happen with positive and negative behaviors (“If you get your coat and boots on now, you can have this book to read in the car.”).
• Demonstrate and provide opportunities for child to take another’s perspective before making decisions (What would she think or feel if you gave her your books?).
• Discuss with child how he/she likes to be treated.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Seek out other children to play with.
• Notice and comment on who is absent from group settings.
• Identify self as a member of a group (family, culture, school).
• Use play to explore, practice and understand social roles.
• Join a group of other children playing, with adult encouragement.

YOU CAN

• Promote a sense of community within groups (clean up or meal preparation).
• Engage child in pretend play that encourages group work and an understanding of social roles.
• Provide times when child can participate in group activities.
• Show children how a group works (preparing meals, berry picking, fishing, gardening). Follows simple rules of participation in group activities.
• Cooperatively engage in group activities and sometimes is a leader and other times, a follower.
• Invent and set up activities that include more than one child.
• Participate as a member of an audience, as well as an active participant in group activities (drumming, dancing, games).
• Engage child in discussions and decision making, asks for their ideas, and helps them listen to others.
• Encourage participation in group games, allowing child to make up or modify rules.
• Provide opportunities for child to observe adult decision-making and cooperation.
• Talk about the importance of teamwork when working with others.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Explore objects and materials and interact with others in a variety of group settings.
• Make smooth transitions from one activity/setting to the next during the day, with guidance.
• Adjust behavior to different settings. Express anticipation of special events in different settings.
• Adjust to a variety of settings throughout the day.
• Anticipate diverse settings and what will be needed in them, with assistance (“We are going to the library, so I will need the books.”).

YOU CAN

• Provide child with reminders when changes in schedule are planned (“Today is swim class, so our lunch will be late.”).
• Demonstrate and explain expected behavior for different settings (“When we’re at the library, people are reading, so we need to whisper and be quiet.”).
• Involve child in signaling transitions, (ringing bell, singing a cleanup song).
• Read books about transitions.
• Prepare child for transition to kindergarten through a number of activities (visits kindergarten class, bus ride).
• Encourage child to think about and be prepared for diverse cultural settings.
• Ask child to describe or draw pictures of different places, including places from his/her cultural background.
• Discuss importance of cultural activities in different settings (community dances, songs, feasts).

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Notice and show concern for another child’s feelings.
• Adopt a variety of roles and feelings during pretend play.
• Care for and doesn’t destroy plants, flowers and other living things with guidance.
• Act kindly and gently with safe, child-friendly animals. Describe how another child feels (“I think her feelings are hurt because I was picked to help rake leaves.”).
• Comfort family members or friends who are not feeling well or are upset.
• Express excitement about special events and accomplishments of others.
• Be able to adjust plans in response to injured peer or animal (“I know we can’t go to the gym today because David hurt his leg.”).

YOU CAN

• Listen and respond to child’s comments.
• Tell stories and read books with child from diverse cultures and family structures (single parent, same-sex parents, adoptive or foster parent).
• Name and discuss feelings (“You are looking angry. Can you tell me why?”).
• Imagine out loud with child how animals and plants might feel.
• Demonstrate empathy for both children involved in a conflict (“It’s hard to share and it’s hard to wait for your turn.”).
• Provide opportunities for child to share and discuss feelings.
• Help child to assist others and take others’ perspectives into consideration.
• Encourage child to draw a picture of a time a friend felt happy, sad, lonely, etc.
• Discuss why a character reacts as he/she does in a story, taking cultural differences into consideration.
• Set an example for child by respecting the natural world and discussing why it is important (“The trees drop leaves in the fall, but they shelter us all summer from sun and rain.”).

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Identify gender and other basic similarities and differences between self and others.
• Compare similarities or differences of others (hair color, skin color).
• Develop awareness, knowledge and appreciation of own gender and cultural identity.
• Begin to include other children in her/his activities who are of a different gender, ethnic background, who speak other languages, or have special needs.
• Ask questions about others’ families, language, ethnicity, cultural heritage, physical characteristics. Shows concern about fairness within peer group.
• Recognize others’ abilities in certain areas (Maria is a fast runner).
• Name and accept differences and similarities in preferences (food likes/dislikes and favorite play).
• Notice that children might use different words for the same object.
• Explore a situation from another’s perspective.

YOU CAN

• Provide chances for child to describe own cultural and physical characteristics (drawing, photographs of families).
• Demonstrate and explain that one person may play different roles (“Your Auntie is a mom, works at a store, and loves to fish.”).
• Invite parents and others from diverse cultures to tell stories and read books to children.
• Invite families to share their traditions (holidays, food, games, music, dance).
• Provide opportunities for child to explore similarities and differences of other children.
• Engage child with songs, rhymes, and counting games in a second language.
• Actively address bias behavior and teaches anti-bias responses.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Describe self as a person with a mind, a body, and feelings.
• Refer to self by first and last name and use appropriate pronouns (I, me) rather than referring to self in third person.
• Choose individual activities (doing puzzles, painting).
• Participate in pretend play, assuming different roles.
• Describe family members and begin to understand their relationship to one another.
• Show awareness of own thoughts, feelings, and preferences.
• Describe own basic physical characteristics.
• Try to get his/her way and express clear preferences.
• Test abilities through trial and error.
• Test limits set by caregiver.
• Develop awareness, knowledge, and appreciation of own gender and cultural identity.
• Identify feelings, likes and dislikes, and begin to be able to explain why he/she has them.
• Share information about self with others.
• Know some important personal information (family’s name, street name).
• Play alone and with others, and enjoy him or herself.
• Accept responsibilities and follow through on (helps with chores).
• Request quiet time and space.
• Describe self, using several physical and behavioral characteristics (“I am tall and I can reach up high.”).
• Describe own skills and abilities in certain areas (“I like to paint.”).
• Suggest games and activities that demonstrate own preferences and abilities (sets up a game of catch).
• Notice different preferences between self and others (“I like to play with dolls and she likes to play with toy animals.”).

YOU CAN

• Support child’s developing understanding of own characteristics and culture (“You have freckles just like your Grandma”).
• Provide opportunities for child to make choices.
• Provide dress-up and pretend play materials from child’s daily life and cultural background.
• Compare, contrast, and celebrate physical similarities and differences in children (hair, skin, eye color, size of hands).
• Invite others to share their culture and traditions with child.
• Provide opportunities for child to share information about self in multiple ways (storytelling, drama, drawing, writing).
• Encourage communication in home and school languages for bi-lingual/bi-cultural learning.
• Allow child to safely exercise independence when appropriate.
• Assign simple chores, demonstrating how to accomplish the tasks and then letting him/her work with increasing independence.
• Talk with child about the characteristics he/she has that represents his/her cultural backgrounds.
• Provide culturally relevant materials that allow child to see himself/herself in books, dolls, and dramatic play materials.
• Engage child in conversations about his/her preferences and abilities by asking who, what, where, when, why questions (“What do you like to do?” “Where do you like to go best?”).
• Compare, contrast, and celebrate physical similarities and difference in children (hair, skin, eye color, size of hands).
• Invite others to share their culture and traditions with child.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Express delight with mastery of a skill (“I did it myself.”).
• Ask others to view own creations (“Look at my picture.”).
• Demonstrate confidence in own abilities (“I can climb to the top of the big slide!”).
• Express own ideas and opinions.
• Enjoy process of creating.
• Take on new tasks and improve skills with practice (catching a ball).
• Express delight over a successful project and want others to like it too.
• Start a task and work on it until finished.

YOU CAN

• Show how to do something and provide opportunities for child to try to do it.
• Provide plenty of time and opportunity for child to play, explore, experiment, and accomplish tasks.
• Invite child to share thoughts and feelings when accomplishing a new task.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Participate easily in routine activities (meal time, snack time, bedtime).
• Follow simple rules without reminders (handles toys with care).
• Demonstrate increasing ability to use materials purposefully, safely, and respectfully.
• Adapt to changes in daily schedule.
• Predict what comes next in the day, when there is an established and consistent schedule.
• Manage transitions and adapt to changes in schedules and routines with adult support.
• Engage in and complete simple routines without assistance (puts coat on to go outside to play).
• Follow rules in different settings (lower voice when enters library).
• Explain simple family or classroom rules to others.
• Manage transitions and adapt to changes in schedules and routines independently.

YOU CAN

• Provide child with consistent schedules and routines.
• Prepare child for changes in daily schedule by providing advance warning, talking with, and listening to child.
• Display visual cues for rules and routines (dimming lights before nap time).
• Keep list of rules positive and short; include rules addressing bias and prejudice that are understood by child.
• Enforce rules consistently and respectfully.
• Engage child in setting appropriate rules.
• Help child accept changes in routines or request for behavior and reinforce compliance (child gives a toy to a friend when time is up with encouragement from the adult).
• Clearly communicate rules, routines, and expected behaviors.
• Make daily plans with child, underlining items different from the usual routine
• Talk with child about the positive reasons for having rules (so people don’t get hurt).
• Manage transitions and adapt to changes in schedules and routines independently (will go from home to school with a routine to ease anxiety such as a wave from a window or blowing a kiss goodbye).

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Express strong emotions constructively, at times with assistance.
• Recognize own feelings and desire to control self, with assistance.
• Calm self after having strong emotions, with guidance (go to quiet area or request favorite book to be read when upset).
• Wait for turn and sometimes show patience during group activities.
• Stick with difficult tasks without becoming overly frustrated.
• Express self in safe and appropriate ways (express anger or sadness without fights.)
• Show ability to control destructive impulses, with guidance.
• Seek peaceful resolution to conflict.
• Stop and listen to instructions before jumping into activity, with guidance.

YOU CAN

• Work with child to establish ways to take turns.
• Encourage child to settle disputes with other children independently, but monitor to ensure children’s safety.
• Guide group discussions about problem solving and conflict management.
• Engage child in discussions about accepting different ways of expressing emotion and communicating (set rules that prohibit children from making fun of each other).
• Role-play and act out social situations where child can practice skills in negotiating and problem solving.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Name and talk about own emotions.
• Use pretend play to understand and respond to emotions.
• Associate emotions with words and facial expressions.
• Express a broad range of emotions across settings, during play and interactions with peers and adults.
• Share own excitement with peers, caregivers, and adults.
• Acknowledge sadness about loss (change in caregiver, divorce, or death).
• Not inhibit emotional expression (cry when feeling sad; name some levels of emotion such as frustrated or angry).

YOU CAN

• Provide opportunities for child to understand and discuss own and others’ feelings.
• Talk about how you feel and how you respond to those feelings (singing when you are happy, sighing when you are frustrated).
• Discuss how the characters in a book might feel while reading books with child.
• Be aware of cultural and gender differences in expressing feelings.
• Avoid stereotyping child’s expression of emotion (Ok for boys to cry, girls to get angry).
• Read books on feelings that reflect the language and cultural background of child.
• Engage child in pretend play with other children to act out real-life situations and feelings.
• Provide opportunities for child to share and talk about feelings with adults and peers.
• Praise child for expressing emotions
  appropriately.
• Help child express his/her feelings as he/ she plays with others, pretends with toys, and listens to stories.
• Help the child compare positive and negative emotions, and the situations that evoke each.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Recognize extended family members (cousins, aunts, uncles).
• Talk about how other children have different family compositions.
• Quickly adjust to a new rule (lining up inside the building rather than outside when the weather gets colder or it rains).

YOU CAN

• Apply different rules in different contexts that require different behaviors (using indoor voices or feet versus outdoor voices or feet).
• Assist child in creating an All About Me book with pictures and captions.
• Read stories about families and talk about child’s own and others’ families.
• Help child distinguish people and relationships (grandparents, brother, aunt, cousins).
• Provide opportunities for child to spend time with elderly relatives.
• Provide opportunities for child to participate in family functions.
• Provide opportunities for child to make friends with children who have different family compositions (children whose grandparents live with them).
• Help children to understand relationship among family members and their roles.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Recognize others’ capabilities in specific area (“That woman is good at fixing cars.”).
• Identify some types of jobs and some of the tools used to perform those jobs.
• Understand personal responsibility as a member of a group (“If you put away the toys, then I’ll clean up the art table.”).

YOU CAN

• Take child on field trips to observe community workers.
• List with child all of the people you see doing jobs that help others.
• Use group time (family dinner, circle time) to discuss the idea of community and how we are all interconnected.
• Play song games to explore community helper roles.
• Encourage child to help others, appreciating others’ needs and perspectives.
• Take child on a neighborhood walk and has child draw a picture of his/her neighborhood.
• Engage child in play opportunities that take on different social roles (salesperson, captain, mail carrier, police/safety officer, health aide, hair stylist).
• Make a book, poster, or mural about people in the community and their jobs).
• Support in-depth projects for child to explore his/her immediate community (field trips, sample interviews with community helpers).

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Show awareness of group rules (wait before painting because the easels are full).
• Help to make rules for free choice play (“Only four people at the sand table.”).
• Follow rules while playing games and reminds others of the rules.
• Respond to another child’s needs by sometimes giving and sharing.
• Notice if another child is missing an essential article needed to participate in the group (other child does not have crayons to draw with).
• Invite other children to join groups or other activities.
• With adult support, avoid imitating the negative behavior of another child. With adult reminders, waits to communicate information in a group.
• Exhibit positive citizenship behaviors by sharing, taking turns, following rules, and taking responsibility for classroom jobs.

YOU CAN

• Discuss with child how rules/standards protect everyone’s rights and safety.
• Provide opportunities for child to participate in projects such as helping at the food bank or litter pick up.
• Have child help organize clothes, toys or household items to donate to community organizations.

PRESCHOOLERS MAY

• Follow rules and understand that there may be different rules for different places.
• Share information about their family and community.
• Identify themselves as members of a family or classroom.
• Create art that contains realistic elements (pointing to one of their drawings and saying “This is my house.”).
• Engage in pretend play and act out different settings or events that happen at home (being a doll’s “Daddy” or using a spoon to feed a doll).
• Demonstrate an understanding of the rights and responsibilities in a group (following simple classroom rules, participating in classroom clean-up).
• Demonstrate an awareness of and appreciation for personal characteristics (“That man is nice.”, “She has red hair.”).

YOU CAN

• Create charts and pictures, with child’s help, showing names of objects in child’s home language and in home languages of other children in child’s circle of contact.
• Teach child words in other languages (“Hello” in Yupik is “Waqaa.” “Hello” in Spanish is “Hola.” In Chinese it is “Ni Hao.” “Good Morning” in Tagalog is “Magandang Umaga.”).
• Choose books, music, activities, and children’s shows that include diverse cultures.
• Listen to music from other parts of the world and discuss its characteristics.
• Reinforce the value of child’s home language and culture.